ISSUE 2: ACCIDENTAL INVESTIGATION OF SQIRL

Maya Angelou was right! Plus: eclipse resources and a reminder about wild animals.

Leah Jereb

Oct 18, 2023

Holy smokes—we’re on issue 2!

Thanks to all who read last week’s issue, and if you’re new here—you have to sacrifice a pig. Just kidding, welcome!

“WHEN PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM THE FIRST TIME.”

- Maya Angelou

This past weekend, I met with a friend for lunch at a place that I haven’t been for years. And that’s not because it isn’t a delicious restaurant. The recipes are fabulous, the aesthetics make East LA artsy types without full-time jobs (me?) drop to their knees, and the ingredients are sourced from small local farms.

However, in 2020, this restaurant was plagued by a scandal. Extensive reports from previous employees and a damning photo revealed that this restaurant had mold-covered jam in a back room that employees were instructed to scrape off and then the jam was still sold. This place is known for its jam and sells it all over the country. A New York Times article came out about this restaurant a year before the scandal with the lede: “Can you build an empire out of jam?” That’s how big of a deal the jam is. And like the mold, it seems the photo has also been scraped—off the internet.

I’m not going to name the restaurant because I don’t want to fan the flames, but it was SQIRL.

THE CONTEXT

If you’re not familiar, SQIRL is an LA institution that has inspired a LOT of what you see in trendy, innovative farm-fresh dishes today. They basically invented the LA crispy rice bowl, among other staple dishes you see duped on menus all over the city and beyond. SQIRL gave so many foodies their entire personality. Personally, I was a huge fan. I even have the cookbook which I bought years ago. They are a pioneer. Apparently, they are also a pioneer in some other unconventional practices, too.

When the news dropped in 2020, I was obviously pretty appalled. This place was (and in a way still is) mega, and this story was a massive shock. Talking to my friend Casey (who is also a reader of Oh, That’s Good—hi, Casey!), she recently said the jam scandal is her “Roman Empire.” And I think that is a great way to put it. I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT.

THE DECISION TO GO

So, why did I go here this past weekend?

Oh, you guys don’t believe in second chances? What, you NEVER responded to a text message from your ex?

I figured it’s been at least three years since the scandal, and surely, the restaurant had looked good and hard at their past and made adjustments. Plus, they were still in business, so if that story didn’t tank them, it had to be ok now, right?

Despite my germaphobic and Capricornian tendencies (us goats hold grudges!), I returned to this place with my friend. I was honestly really excited because the food is very good, but I couldn’t help but think about the jam incident. I told myself to let it go and just GO!

And that was my mistake.

THE INCIDENT

My friend and I both ordered crispy rice bowls, naturally. I got a Crispy Vegan (which includes avocado + greens) and added chicken sausage. I also ordered a Horchoffee which is their signature vegan, date-sweetened horchata with two shots of espresso. Yes, it is deliciousssss.

Glamour shot:

I enjoyed my meal tremendously.

But then, with only a few bites remaining, all hell broke loose:

"Oh, waiter, there's a horrifying insect in my crispy rice."

YES, the restaurant with a moldy jam scandal on its back had just served me a blazed vermin in my crispy rice. Which I almost accidentally ate.

An employee bussing the table behind us turned around to see what the commotion was about. The commotion was me saying “OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK? IS THAT A COCKROACH?”

He asked for my order number and told us he was going to go tell a manager to come over promptly.

THE MANAGER ENTERS

Here is a re-enactment of our conversation:

Manager: Hi, I’m so sorry that happened. We’ve gone ahead an comped your meal. Is everything all right?
(hands me receipt with refund)
Leah: Oh ok thank you. I mean, it was just a bit concerning. I mean, did you see it?
Manager: I did.
Leah: Ok, well do you think it’s a cockroach?
Manager: No. It’s probably from one of the small farms where we get our produce from. And we just didn’t rinse it enough! So, we’ll make sure to do a better job.
Leah: Ok…
Manager: If you want to give me your name, we’ll keep it at the front and make sure you get treated well next time.
Leah: Ok. Do you want me to just tell you or should I write it down?
Manager: You can just tell me.
(I ponder this, my name is constantly misspelled.)
Leah: I’ll just write it down.
(I get out my notebook, rip out a slip of paper, and write my name down.)
Leah: Here you go.
Manager: Ok thanks and sorry again.

THE AFTERMATH

I spent the afternoon Googling “insects that look like cockroaches” and eventually just posted the picture above on my Instagram story asking if anyone could help me identify the species.

My Insect Investigators (thank you) informed me that this little guy was an earwig.

Yes, this little fucker with ass pinchers. ASS PINCHERS!

My research shows that earwigs do live in gardens like Anne of Green Gables motherfuckers, so I accepted the restaurant’s rationale for a bit. That was until I learned from friends that they’d seen these guys in their showers because earwigs crawl up drains. And, it’s apparently the time of year when that starts to happen.

Also, reflecting upon my crispy rice bowl, I don’t know what this little fellow would’ve hitchhiked in on. It was mostly rice, save for some fresh herbs and a loose handful of leafy greens. Had these items been washed, which I’m sure they were at least once (lol?), there’s no way this guy would’ve stayed on. It’s like 2 inches long. THE RATIONALE DID NOT HOLD UP.

THE DEBRIEF

Ok. So let me say I’m not out to get anybody.* But you’re telling me that the restaurant with a major news scandal around food safety just served me a dish with an insect that likely crawled in through a drain?

I don’t know, guys. Listen, if any other restaurant that I liked had served me this, I probably would’ve been like “Ok, that was disgusting, but that was probably a one-off incident.” But with the jam-dal and now this, I can’t help but think there is clearly something wrong.

Additionally, when the manager claimed it was likely from a farm, I kind of felt like I was being gaslit by messaging about how their restaurant works with local farms so it’s just that fresh. Maybe this wasn’t intentional on their end, but for perspective, I almost mentioned the jam incident to the manager when we chatted as a way to paint a picture of my concerns. I didn’t, but now I wish I did because it probably would’ve been punk rock. I would’ve been like the AOC of East LA dining. But I’m clearly not. So I didn’t.

As I’ve thought more and more about this, I’ve also wondered:

Why did the jam story go quiet? And how did a restaurant with this level of scandal stay open—particularly through a global pandemic—when other restaurants without this track record shuttered?

The owner did apologize for the jam scandal after the media flare-up (though it was somewhat questionable in my opinion) and claims that per the guidance of health experts, scraping jam off the mold was ok.

Not to be a total bitch, but I don’t want to eat jam that has ever had mold on it.

Apparently they have switched all jam production to a mold-free “hot pack” process (which they previously only used off-site for jars that were shipped) for all their jams in-house since. The jam may be mold-free now, but the crispy rice is definitely not earwig-free.

There are multiple sides to every story, but the facts I know are enough to inspire Boston Globe-meets-Catholic Church investigative journalism.

If the jam incident could occur there, and me finding Hedwig and the Angry Inch in my lunch could occur there—what else is going on there?

Like the great Maya Angelou said, “When people show you they scrape mold off of jam, believe that some other shady shit is also going on behind-the-scenes.”

Despite probably being able to get free treats if I return, I probably will not. Except maybe for coffee. They have pretty good coffee.

What, guys!! It would be free. I think. They didn’t actually tell me. Probably not if they read this. But hey, at least I didn’t leave a Google review!

What do you think of all this? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

*My newsletter has less subscribers than US states at time of publishing , so we won’t start a media frenzy—and that’s not my intention to begin with. But this was my personal experience, and that’s kind of the content you came here for, right? And now I’m like… I shouldn’t feel bad…right? It was nasty.

ECLIPSES

We had a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Libra this past weekend, and I saw it! Well, I looked directly into the sun to try to see it which was the biggest dumbass move ever. But I did see it, if only for a brief, painful moment. OH! And I also saw God. But I’m not gonna talk about that in this newsletter.

This weekend’s eclipse kicks off the fall eclipse series we’re experiencing, which if you know me, means I am looking at this from an astrological perspective.

We will have another eclipse on October 28. This next one however, will be a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Taurus.

I’m not going to go too much farther into this today for time’s sake, but if you are interested in learning more about how the eclipses may be impacting you based on your personal astrology, here are some resources I like below:

CosmicRX - has a newsletter, podcast, online community, and fabulous Instagram account. Madi Murphy (the astrology brains behind the operation) does a fabulous job at making astrological concepts approachable, and I’ve done a number of personal readings with her. I’ve learned so much from Madi and the CosmicRX!
Chani Nichols - Chani is a huge name in astrology. She has a book, newsletter, an awesome app which I reference almost daily, and a number of other resources. I think she is also starting a podcast. I highly recommend the CHANI app, ESPECIALLY over apps like Co-Star which I find so hard to understand from its layout and writing.
Typewriter Astrology - I found this account semi-recently, and I really like how they break down information and also have some fun.

Lots of other resources out there, but these are the ones I reference most regularly to learn what’s going on with the stars (and vibes).

SQUIRRELS w/ EXPENSIVE TASTE

One little treat to close because this is outrageous.

As I’m writing this newsletter, my boyfriend reveals to me that today when I was on a walk, he fed walnuts to a squirrel that runs by the patio door every day. We know it’s the same squirrel because it has huge nipples. Not to be a squirrel perv, but she (?) does.

He not only fed it walnuts, but walnuts that I bought at Cookbook Market which is a $$$ specialty grocery store in LA. I couldn’t believe that he would share my high-end nuts with wildlife. Right as we were discussing this, the squirrel returned for more.

Video below (you have to watch past 30 seconds to see how far this escalated).

Wow. I just realized how truly full circle this week’s issue is. We start out discussing the wild antics of SQIRL, and we end with a video of a very very wild squirrel.

The poetry just writes itself, my friends.

So remember: Don’t go back to people (restaurants) you can’t trust! AND DO NOT, I SWEAR TO GOD, FEED WILD ANIMALS!!!!!!!

Let me know what you thought of this week’s issue in the comments, and have a great week!

- LJ