ISSUE 17: "WELCOMING THE TOUCH OF THE HIDES" <3
A wild pagan V-Day ritual, astrology of Galentine's Day, and stuff I am lovinggggg!
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY
Yes. Today is that day. As I pondered the newsletter coming out on V-Day, I thought, let’s have some fun with this. So without further ado, my stream of consciousness around writing a Valentine’s Day newsletter.
PAGAN RITUALS POPPING OFF
A lot of people would brand Valentine’s Day as a “Hallmark holiday,” aka a day made up by a company for the sole purpose of making money. That may be somewhat true, however the History Channel does have some theories on what the origins Valentine's Day may be, including the burial of St. Valentine and pagan rituals which basically got wiped by Christianity because Christianity got rid of literally everything fun.
By fun, I mean this:
“…Others claim that the Christian church may have decided to place St. Valentine’s feast day in the middle of February in an effort to “Christianize” the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. Celebrated at the ides of February, or February 15, Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.
To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. They would then strip the goat’s hide into strips, dip them into the sacrificial blood and take to the streets, gently slapping both women and crop fields with the goat hide. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed the touch of the hides because it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city’s bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.
Can you imagine being an ancient Roman woman who “welcomed the touch of the hides”? This is how I imagine a conversation between best friends went back then:
Aurelia: Ugh, I’m having such an off day.
Camilla: Did you sleep all right, Aurelia? I know you’ve been having a hard time since your breakup with Caesar.
Aurelia: No, it’s not that. His hunger for power is such a turnoff. Although I wish he wouldn’t been a little bit more hungry for power in the chambers…
Camillia: Oh, Aurelia. You’re such a slut!
Aurelia: I know. But not after him. I’m ready to meet someone new. Someone who I can really see a future with.Camilla: Well you know, Lupercalia is just around the corner.
Aurelia: *bites lip* Oh, Camilla—I’m so glad. I welcome the touch of the hides.
No one touches you with hides the old fashioned way anymore, you know?
GALENTINE’S DAY - AN ASTRO LOOK
On February 11, 2010, the term ~Galentine’s Day~ was coined by Leslie Knope, Amy Poehler’s character on Parks and Rec.
She said:
“What’s Galentine’s Day? It’s only the best day of the year. Every February 13th, my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home, and we just come and kick it, breakfast-style. Ladies celebrating ladies. It’s like Lilith Fair, minus the angst. Plus frittatas.”
I’m sure a girl or two dropped this phrase before this episode aired, but for all intents and purposes, this was the official ushering of Galentine’s Day into popular culture as we know it.
If you’ve been reading this newsletter for a bit, you know that sometimes I will run the astrology of things in culture to see if I can “make it make sense” as the kids say.
Well, I did it. I ran the astrology chart for Galentine’s Day.
I’m sure some actual astrologer could “read this to filth” (also as the kids say), but what stuck out to me is that Galentine’s Day has its Sun, Moon, Mercury, Chiron AND Neptune in Aquarius!!
Aquarius is the sign of the revolutionary and the visionary. Aquarius typically pushes the boundaries and norms, and is also highly creative, group-minded, and subversive.
With Valentine’s Day so established as a “coupley” holiday, I find it so interesting that this unofficial but official holiday has so much Aquarius energy—essentially pushing the boundaries of Valentine’s Day from a narrow “coupley” definition, to a broader definition that includes celebrating as a group (very Aquarius).
The fact that Valentine’s Day even falls in Aquarius season is kind of funny (Aquarius is a more cerebral, detached sign rather than something like Cancer, Libra, or Taurus which some might argue are more fitting seasons for Valentine’s Day). But that only means we should embrace its Aquarius date more by having group hang outs. In a Pagan sense, it means we should gently slap all of our friends with hides! #community
THE MAD GENIUS OF SWEETHEARTS
Last month, Sweethearts, the famed candy hearts purveyor, announced that it would be selling “Sweethearts Situationships” with the tagline “Messages as blurry as your relationship.”
They sold out pretty much instantly.
The genius of this to me is that the company found a way to sell off its misprinted hearts that would normally get thrown in the trash. Capitalizing on how horribly inept people are at commitment these days, this was of course a genius concept. Their landing page for it here (or Instagram, whichever you prefer) has a cute little video about the product.
RANDOM STUFF I WANT TO SHARE
GET THIS CAESAR
I finished the entire bottle of this Miso Caesar dressing from Acid League in one week. BUY IT!!!! MY GOD!!!! I have been eating it mixed with with baby greens, radishes, brown rice crackers crushed in the palm of my hand, and a fork. DELIGHTFUL. Something about radishes dipped into this… do you believe in God?
A NEW DANCE-INSPIRED WORKOUT
I randomly seem to be on the email list for some new workout called “KINRGY” which is “a dance fitness program created by Emmy Award winning dancer Julianne Hough that powers your mind, body, and energy.” I think I may have mentioned here that I was a loyal member of 305 Fitness while living in DC, so I’m intrigued by dance cardio classes. Maybe I will give it a try? They seem to have a variety of classes, but the funniest one to me is called “KINRGY Carve.” I get it. You’re a new fitness studio that doesn’t want to use the word “sculpt” like all the other girls. But the copywriter in me is screaming NO to Carve. It’s giving….carnal,…death,…Thanksgiving. One thing I know for sure is that there will literally be NO turkeys signing up for this class. Wellness culture needs to work on being more inclusive.
I GOT A RED LIGHT DEVICE
A family member gifted me a LUMEBOX red light device for my birthday/Christmas which was very NICE! This particular brand is rigorously tested and FDA approved, which isn’t always the case with red light devices (re: last week’s video, STAY VIGILANT.) I literally just opened the box this week (it was backordered and there’s a whole story where I ended up in the back of FedEx truck looking for my package), so I will report back! So far, I turned it on, stared at it, and then read that you shouldn’t stare at it. So things are going grrrrrrrreat!
MY NEW FAVORITE RECIPE GIRLY
Last but not least, I discovered an amazing chef on Instagram named
(@babytamagooo) who makes the most delightful recipe videos with voiceover that will make you feel like you’re on the phone with your most animated friend (a Leo, probably). She also posts her recipes on her own substack which you can subscribe to! (Mama is working on budgeting for one as we speak).READ THIS INTERVIEW I DID :)
Voyage LA posted a feature of me this week! Cool!! I chat more about what I’m up to lately and how I got here (vulnerability alert 🚨). Would love if you gave it a read. <3
That’s all for now!
If you’re loving this newsletter, it would mean the world to me if you left me a comment here or on Instagram! Help me show people that it’s a cool kids club. 😎
Have a delightful day and see you next week!
LJ