ISSUE 1: I GOT A FACE MASSAGE

aka a buccal massage. Plus: pancakes that didn't work out and a vegetarian who truly serves animals.

Oct 11, 2023

It’s time.

The inaugural issue of Oh, That’s Good has arrived. You’re IN IT!

Thank you all so much for subscribing to this without really having a clue about what you’re about to experience. Now you’re going to find out:

So, I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my dad…

Jk, here’s the real newsletter.

WTF is a Buccal Massage?

Friends, my jaw has been hurting. My teeth have been grinding more than the 7th graders at my middle school dance. I didn’t know where else to turn because it hurt to turn my neck. So this weekend, I got a buccal massage.

A buccal massage is a facial massage that focuses on both draining lymphatic fluid buildup (hot girlies love it for the sculpting effect) and loosening up tight jaws and face muscles that get constricted over time (or from TMJ!).

And yes, friends, they snap on gloves and put their hands in your mouth to reallllyyyyy work out that jaw.

Like the mother you never had.

I will keep the tangent short, but I believe doing more regular maintenance on your face muscles and tension can help alleviate a lot of symptoms (including wrinkles) that’ll eventually make you want to run for the hills and get Botox.

What I’m saying is, The Hills Have Botox.

You can also try methods like gua sha at home (which I’ve tried), but I needed professional help.

My Experience

I went to Kosha Spa which is a lovely little spot and owned by basically the ~pioneer~ of buccal massage in LA, Anastasia Talan. You can follow her on IG where she also has a LOT of demo videos for a variety of needs! (Mostly face needs, she can’t like, show you how to change a tire. Although maybe she could. Verrrry talented.)

I’ve been to Kosha before, and it’s a very calming, beautiful treat. The rooms have furniture pieces I wish were in my home, and the practitioners are all top-notch (trained by Talan), and honestly? Always wearing really cute, flouncy, feminine dresses.

However, the dresses are merely a cover for the aggressively militant movements of their fingers that push lymph out of your face and into the highway to hell.

FYI: Lymphatic fluid runs on its own system separate from the circulatory system. The lymphatic system is responsible for fluid balance in the body and also carries white blood cells (ie your little immune system soldiers). It also helps clear shit your body wants to get rid of (~toxins~) and carries that to your elimination organs. It doesn't have a "pump" like the circulatory system (the heart) so you have to keep it moving efficiently by getting physical activity, manually massaging the nodes, dry brushing, deep breathing, and a number of other things that you can Google. Or I can link to? Let's figure out what you all like best at the end of this issue.

Anyway. Back to talking about my face. I ended up being REALLY TIGHT, like ow ow I’m gonna cry, under my cheekbones. Who knew! If you make fists and gently push them up under your cheekbones, you can see if you have tension there! (wow, interactive!). Speaking of which, she also told me if you put a hand on your hip and pout your lips it helps release…your inhibitions because you look so sassy right now!

BACK TO MY REPORT… we also discovered that I had more jaw tension on the opposite side of my jaw from where I’ve been grinding my teeth. My practitioner said she’s noticed that opposition with several of her clients, so that must be a thing that I will have to look into further.

What I really have also been wanting to try is a session at Myodetox, which is basically boutique physical therapy. Surely a boutique chiropractor can fix my shoulder tension contributing to my asymmetrical face tension. Haha. Ow. :)

I have cheeks that I was told I would “grow out of” and tend to retain fluid in my face, so I also appreciated the draining/sculpting portion of the massage. I didn’t take a before picture, but I imagine I looked something like this:

Before:

After:

And ultimately, my jaw felt a lot better. I actually had a bit more feeling in my face, too. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: I had numb cheeks last week from the tension in my neck and shoulders (I know, guys…. I know.)

Buccal massage has definitely swept the hot girl influencer instagrams of LA—you know, the kind of gals who hold their front-facing cameras up while a practitioner has their hands in their mouth, and you’re thinking…actually, maybe you do work too hard. But I really believe it’s such a helpful treatment if you find yourself needing something like that—and have a lot of jaw tension or issues from TMJ.

I’ll leave it at that! But if you are thinking about getting a buccal massage or diving more into facial massage at home, I recommend it! And hit me up if you have any questions about my experience.

Moving on!

Other Things on My Mind & Plate This Week

Pancakes that let me down (plus my fav recipe)

I’m such a big fan of Simple Mills products, mainly their pizza crust mix and seed flour crackers. So I thought surely, I will enjoy yet another carbohydrate product they make: Pancake Mix.

Reader, let’s just say these pancakes were pan-no thanks. Which is hard to write because I would make pancakes my child’s godparent. My boyfriend thought they tasted like chickpeas, and I thought they tasted like artificial eggs. (There is no chickpea flour in the mix, but you do add eggs.) They also came out crispy in a way that pancakes should not be crispy.

Sorry to be pancake Regina George, but this is my truth. I should’ve stuck with my go-to pancake recipe, which is pretty easy to make and also happens to be gluten-free and vegan. *Searches for recipe* I just tried to find the recipe online, and I can’t. And I have no idea where it’s from, but from memory, here is my best shot:

2 cups of rolled oats
1 tsp of baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
Many shakes of cinnamon (whatever seems excessive but not feral)
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp melted coconut oil
1/2 cup applesauce (I just use one small sealed cup you’d give to a child or an adult in a crisis, it’s about a half cup)
3/4 cup of milk (non-dairy, I like almond, cashew, or coconut. I guess you could use cow milk too if you wanna get freaky)
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar (you can’t taste it, don’t worry)

Put dry items in food processor and blend. Then add wet (except ACV) and blend. Then add ACV and blend. Cook in a pan (I think I normally use a 1/4c scoop) with coconut or avocado oil (or butter if you are, once again, getting freaky.)

I like to serve with maple syrup and almond butter.

FYI: These typically come out with a thicker, heartier texture, versus a traditional fluffy texture. But I love them! And so does my boyfriend.

Saying that sounds so incredibly 1950s housewife (Even my husband approves! please don’t yell at me), but I have to affirm that I’m not the only one who likes thick rustic pancakes.

This is originally an ad for Schlitz beer that reads “…at least you didn’t burn the beer!” Well guess what, we burned the Simple Mills pancakes which is legally? not our fault.

Overheard LJ: A Man with a Plan

I went to Whole Foods on Sunday, and I overheard this interaction at the fish counter that I’m going to just leave here for you to enjoy.

Man: Ok, I’ll do two fillets of the Coho salmon. And then throw in another of the Atlantic salmon. Yeah, that should be good. [note to reader, this was 4-6 pounds of fish]
Fish Counter Employee: Stocking up on all your protein for the week, eh?
Man: Oh, no. I’m a vegetarian. I’m batch prepping meals for my dog.

How do I sign up to be his dog? Also, we all know these people. But. Damn, dude. I may or may not be creating a character based on this man, as we SPEAK.

An Aligned Fido

Speaking of dogs, here’s my mom’s dog absolutely entranced by a Throat Chakra-opening song. (He is a Taurus, and Taurus rules the throat…so I find this…interesting! We’ll discuss astrology more in coming issues, don’t you worry.) And yes, we are an astrology family.

That’s all for this week!

Let me know what you thought, what you want to hear more about, and if you want me to link out to more resources on things I mention here!