ISSUE 5: I TRIED JENNIFER ANISTON'S NEW FAV WORKOUT
called Pvolve. And cancelled my ClassPass.
It’s issue 5! That means I’ve been doing this for over a month now. Go me. And for some subscribers, that means you’ve been reading this for over a month! Go YOU!
I would really love to hear from you on what you’re loving most about OH, THAT’S GOOD. If you could take a minute or two to leave a comment, I would appreciate it very much!
FITNESS CLASSES: VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF OVERWHELM
I cancelled my ClassPass free trial this week, just a day before the deadline when it would renew and I would be charged actual money for a membership. If you’re not familiar, ClassPass is an app that has a ginormous network of fitness studios (and now some beauty-focused studios for things like waxing, microblading, etc) where you can book classes/sessions using ClassPass “credits.”
It’s perfect if you like being able to try every type of workout class (HIIT, yoga, pilates, dance, strength training, etc) without committing to a membership at one studio for one thing. So, if you’re a Sagittarius.
This is my second time trying to use ClassPass (I used it for a while when I was in DC), and I learned that….well, I like commitment. I like routine. I like being a boring old Capricorn.
During my ClassPass free trial (which I was able to get because I used a different email address, you know, like a liar!) I did exactly one class, leaving 35 credits in the dust.
This go-around with ClassPass was not what I thought it would be. I came in with the best of intentions, to get back into the swing of going workout classes regularly (a routine that halted amidst the pandemic and also trying to move to a new city in the middle of it). In DC, I was extremely loyal to a couple yoga studios and the dance cardio workout 305 Fitness, where I also did work-study for free classes.
QUICK TANGENT
I found 305 Fitness after a breakup when a consoling friend said I would love it, and it would cheer me up. (It did, and I’m still in love with it.) They closed their DC location post-pandemic and just closed their flagship location in the West Village (NYC). Apparently they have plans to open some new locations soon(?) but they also created an online class portal (though being in class IRL is the best - they have a live DJ in class). Nevertheless…I recommend it.
Ok, back to ClassPass.
Which again, I went into with the best of intentions.
It was just too overwhelming. You know when you log onto Netflix and you spend more time looking for something to watch than actually watching something? That was my experience with ClassPass. I’d scroll through and my brain would try to triangulate all of the different options, what I was in the mood for, what times I could go, how long it would take to get there, what the parking situation was, if my favorite workout outfit was clean that day…. It was just too much. I stayed at home instead and after a walk just “did some crunches on my yoga mat.*”
*Laid down and looked at Instagram.
That is except for the one class I did book on ClassPass. The one I was which is was Jennifer Aniston Propaganda’d into.
JENNIFER ANISTON SELLS, HONEY
I was scrolling on Instagram the other month, and I saw an irresistible sight: Jennifer Aniston looking perfect at age 54, hair half-up half-down, pulling a resistance band while in a deep lunge. Like she did for Smartwater in 2007, Aniston has a way of making people want was she has. Obviously! She’s fit, she’s gorgeous, she successful, and did I mention she is very fit?
So, naturally, I had to find out what this class was. And it is called Pvolve.
I am not sure what the P stands for, but I’m guessing it’s for “Pretty sure you’d like to be like Jennifer Aniston.” Instantly, I feel attacked.
And so, instead of using my ClassPass for classes conveniently in my area, I decided to book a Pvolve class that took me 40 minutes across town one-way, not including parking around Melrose Place which, if you live in LA, you know has about 100x the amount of influencers sitting at Alfred Coffee than there are available parking spots.
MY EXPERIENCE AT PVOLVE
BEFORE CLASS
After finding parking, I made my way across Melrose Place to the opposite side of the block. There, I walked along some road construction which gave me the nice aromatherapy treatment of asphalt and broken dreams before I entered the studio.
I walked in to see two bright faces greeting me, which are strictly mandatory faces if you work at a fitness studio. They handed me a waiver which I scanned to ensure it did not contain the word “death,” and then I walked upstairs to where the actual studio is located.
They have a locker room “area” stocked with a higher-end brand of toiletries including lotion, dry shampoo, deodorant spray, and hand sanitizer, as well as lockers with phone chargers in them. This is actually genius.
I chose locker #11 because in Kindergarten I was assigned cubby #11, and I thought that was comforting. I also once shat myself in Kindergarten, but luckily that parallel did not manifest at the studio.
After making a quick trip into one of the bathrooms which is covered in peach wallpaper (both the color and illustration of peaches—you know, like a butt!) I made my way into the room where the magic happens, as your dad says.
DURING CLASS
I walked in and chose a mat that was in the middle row but still had a nice view of the mirror and also of the hills out the window to my left so I could have two gorgeous views.
The instructor, Nat, was very nice and came over to say hi and ask if I had any injuries or any questions before we got started.
This was a huge and welcome departure from an instructor who, at my first ever solidcore class in DC (which happened to be at 6am), put on her headset to talk to JUST ME, ALONE IN THE STUDIO, in a motivating instructor bark while explaining how to use the equipment, and then called me out during class in a way that made me feel like a weak little shrimp. Yes, I’m still haunted by this day.
As the rest of my classmates trickled in at Pvolve, everyone looked refreshingly normal and not like a high cheek-boned influencer (you know the ones!), so I could relax a little bit.
The workout was nice. I did the “Sculpt & Strength” class, which is more of a toning and strength class (versus other one that focuses more on cardio). My analysis is that this class basically takes elements and postures of yoga and pilates, then adds tools (resistance bands, balls, a mat that guides where you on where put your feet) and of course “BEYONCÉ!!!!” Lol, I feel like fitness instructors are always like “pulse that ass and let Beyoncé guide the way.”
According to the Pvolve website, “Science and expertise have always been at the center of the Pvolve Method, with a Clinical Advisory Board made up of medical doctors and experts in women’s health, kinesiology, biomechanics, physical therapy, and a roster of highly credentialed trainers.” So that kind of gives you a feel for how it’s oriented around strengthening the body based on functional movements and low-impact training. It also required a good amount of “mind to muscle” activation which I like (also why I like hiking and climbing up treacherous rocks because my life depends on me not zoning out and thinking about what I’m eating for dinner.) If you’re not in LA, they also offer classes online, which is how Jennifer Aniston was doing the class before working with the brand.
I liked it! I would go back sooner if it was closer, but perhaps I’ll check out the online options. That’s pretty much all I have to say. I don’t look like Jennifer Aniston yet though so…do I hear refund????
WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?
Little old me in LA, with a cancelled ClassPass and a dream to be my own version of Jennifer Aniston, is at a crossroads. A lot of information I’ve read lately around blood sugar management says weight lifting is the way to go, but weight lifting culture is intimidating to me if I’m going to do it as a solo endeavor. I already walk everyday, but I think I might have to go back to my old routine of tacking on a couple yoga classes a week, plus dance cardio if I am ever able to take 305 Fitness class again. (At this point, I am going to have to become a certified 305 Fitness instructor so I can just teach classes whenever and wherever I want. Would you take my class?)
What can I say, sometimes it’s hard to self-motivate to get to class, so if you find something that works, stick to it. I’m also a Capricorn with a Taurus Moon, so if that means anything to you, it’s clear that I need a solid routine with grounded workouts. That also explains why I like hiking. And sleeping.
What is your routine? Do you have one? Have you used ClassPass? What workouts do you like? Do you wanna go hiking with me? Let me know in the comments. <3
NEW UPDATES ON PAST ISSUE TOPICS
In Issue 4, I discussed the goop holiday gift guides and mentioned how I think goop has a real sense of humor (more than people realize). I didn’t mention this in the issue, but the other year they posted they were releasing a “luxury diaper.” There was a huge uproar, and then they were like “JK! This was to draw attention to how expensive diapers actually cost and kick off a donation campaign to Baby2Baby.” Everyone was like ohhh ahhhh, but still wanted to hate them. Well, they just won a Cannes Lion for that stunt (which if you’re not aware is one of the biggest awards in advertising/marketing you can receive). So it’s safe to say the diaper campaign was a blowout.
In Issue 3, we jumped into the coconut cream world of Erewhon’s smoothie culture and just this past week, New York Magazine released a massive cover story (ok, copycats!) juxtaposing Erewhon’s more humble beginnings to its celebrity glitz and glam present. It has people in the comments saying “Oh my GOD, this is the reason I moved to NEW YORK!!!!” You moved to New York because you didn’t want to be in the same city as a certain grocery store? I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that therapy session.
THAT’S IT FOR THIS WEEK!
Next week, I have two shows in LA if you’re local and interested in seeing me perform live. These are gonna be really good! Here is the info:
DINGER SKETCH COMEDY @ THE PACK THEATER, HOLLYWOOD on WEDNESDAY 11/15 @ 9PM - TICKETS!
CHARACTER SHOWCASE on SATURDAY 11/18 @ 10PM @ THE PACK - I don’t think there are tickets for this!
Thank you for reading! Please continue to comment and share OH, THAT’S GOOD!
I post about every issue each week on Instagram, so if you see it and want to share to your stories, that would be super! And don’t forget to let me know what you think in the comments. :)
LJ
So many chuckles while reading this - definitely helped strengthen my abs. Maybe reading your article will be my go-to pregnancy workout!
I, too, love a class/workout routine to commit to!! During the pandemic, while traveling back and forth to Mexico where my husband is from, I started doing virtual workouts with my best friend, based in New Hampshire (so, ya know, mega long distance bff!!) The 3 of us have standing dates to get on dumb ol' Zoom and do a yoga class together. I use the Peloton app and folks will say what they will about the cult following of Peloton (I avoid the instructors who focus on the wrong parts of fitness aka fatphobia nonsense like spare me plz) but I've adored their yoga library.