ISSUE 28: OH, NO— I'M BACK
What do the United States, Martha Stewart, and Wicked have in common?
ARE WE SO MUCH AS TO SAY…BACK?
Greetings, my readers.
By my count, it has been three months since I sent out an issue, and I just want to say…hello. Have you missed me? I have missed you.
Let’s shake the dust off shall we? Things are absolutely way too wild right now to not be in touch here.
This issue will be a tasting platter so we can all get up to speed. Let me know what you’ve been missing in the comments and I will see what I can do.
I absolutely threw this issue down to get the train moving again, so let this wet your whistle for fun produced tomfoolery to come.
OMG WHAT IS GOING ON (CAN I STILL TALK ABOUT THIS?)
If you want to know how I am feeling about the election results, I started crying while walking into a Thai restaurant for dinner on the Friday after the election.
The election has nothing to do with pad see ew, but in the mere seconds I started to decompress from having a stressful work week on top of the election, my body was like yup, we’re letting this shit loose before you order papaya salad.
I’m not really sure what’s about to unfold. Meaning, I can’t think about it or I will absolutely get an ulcer.
Now, onto what really matters, information about MY president…
MARTHA
The first influencer in the world, Martha Stewart, has a documentary out on Netflix called MARTHA. It is very good. Have you seen it yet?
If you know anything about me, you know that I love Martha Stewart.
I was posting Martha Stewart impressions of myself on Instagram during the pandemic, which was giving major “kid who brought tuna sandwiches for lunch” energy.
But now many people are starting to see what I (and Snoop Dogg) have seen in Martha for a while now. A fascinatingly complex woman who is well ahead of her time. (Direct quote from Snoop Dogg- jk).
SPOILER ALERT: PEOPLE HATE POWERFUL WOMEN. DID YOU KNOW THAT?
They really set up the film with Martha as a relentless perfectionist. Perfectionism is what made her successful, what made her interesting, and what made people want to be her—or at least have a life like the one she created a la a gorgeous garden, exquisite dinner parties, outside-the-box decor.
In her meteoric rise, she became the first self-made woman billionaire all through a business that entirely revolved around her like the sun.
They also literally have this graphic of her business to show it as a solar system around her, again, as the SUN which… I FIND VERY INTERESTING BECAUSE SHE IS A LEO! And the sign of Leo is ruled by the sun.
So chew on that for a minute.
Now, we all know Martha Stewart went to jail.
I don’t want to spoil the whole shebang, but long story short… I was like … WHYYYY did she even go to jail? If a man were on trial for a similar case—no he wouldn’t be.
I personally love Martha Stewart, though it’s interesting to see how she really loosened up after going to jail. She went from telling someone in her kitchen NOT TO USE THAT STUPID SMALL KNIFE TO CUT AN ORANGE! USE A BIG KNIFE! (this is still triggering me) to being on the Roast of Justin Bieber acting like one of the boys.
As the first self-made female billionaire, Martha probably could’ve paid to go on an exotic silent retreat somewhere to decompress but instead she went to jail and you know… sometimes a break is a break!
HOLDING SPACE FOR WICKED
Can you imagine me, a Martha Stewart lover, and me, a musical theater nerd…seeing this post? Are you holding space for me?
Thank you.
YES! I saw Wicked. Two days before we went to see it, my boyfriend asked me, someone who has been in / loved musicals since I was 7 years old:
Is Wicked a musical?
I was washing dishes and so I, like a tired mother of 13 offspring, said, *sigh* yes….
Anyway, so just know that when my boyfriend and I went to see Wicked, this was the first time he experienced any type of Wicked music, content, lore…. anything. Literally a newborn baby.
I have to admit, I didn’t have the same cathartic experience it seems like other people did…but I did cry three times, including when the movie literally started. BUT HEAR ME OUT. It’s different.
I think there is something about the score that’s just pretty and it literally sound-therapied me into crying and thinking about how a girl broke my great grandfather’s beloved chair at a sleepover in middle school.
I didn’t actually think about that during Wicked, but I’m thinking about it now.
Controversially, as a musical theater person/former Drama Club President (for 2 years—ya bitch!), I don’t LOVE movie musicals. I personally think musicals are better live no matter what. The only exception is Grease. I think the way movies are so highly produced now makes it feel like shiny robots singing to me instead of Grease which was like hey we’re a little grainy and we’re just singing and it’s not overdone and also we’re 40 and in high school.
Am I alone on this? On my own…with no one there….beside me.
(That’s a musical reference.)
Nevertheless I thought it was BEAUTIFULLY done and I still honestly cannot get over the set design (literally an article on Architectural Digest for it) and costuming for this film. It’s truly ART!! And Defying Gravity does make me cry for real. I’M HOLDING SPACE FOR IT. But like in a Sagittarius New Moon way….If you understand what I mean by this, slide into my DMs for friendship.
🤝
To sum it up….if there is one thing I have learned over the past month from:
The Election
Martha Stewart Documentary
and WICKED
It’s that people hate a powerful woman! But not you all…because you subscribe to my newsletter, where I, a woman, have complete power over this land (my very specific Substack on the internet). That is so, so brave of you.
SHOUT TO
My dearest friend
is now penning a Substack (issue 1 here) based on her very successful sapphic pop-up bar/experiential community/activation/idk they’re all hot and cool and fun events for queer women, trans & non-binary folks - cough cough aka grotto!If you’re in the New York City area, you absolutely have to check out their events, and if you’re not in NYC, you can still subscribe to her substack above (linked through the header) and enjoy all her incredible musings on queer culture, lifestyle, and culture.
Austa is personally one of my heroes and is also a Sagittarius archetype to a T, as she is an accomplished food and travel journalist who isn’t afraid to talk to anyone and also TRULY does anything she puts her mind to.
She also has incredible taste and is beautiful. It pisses me off. I love her.
BLACK FRIDAY SALES I’VE HIT
Cocokind - 30% off my favorite skin care items!!! I picked up a couple resurrection polypeptide creams (my FAVORITE SUPER MOISTURIZER), ceramide barrier serum, the ceramide body oil stick (literally already made me eczema go away on my wrist), and a couple of gifts for people who I’m like oh…do you need a serum?
Quince - Quince is doing this thing where every day, different items are on sale. It is absolutely activating panic in my brain, but I did buy three pairs of my favorite workout leggings that went down to $30 each the other day. I’m holding out for the linen duvet covers to go on sale… wait with me.
Everlane - I am a slut for Everlane. I have been wearing this brand back when the wide leg crop pants were $48 and they only had a little showroom in SoHo (I went one time when I was much younger and got a verrrry cool outfit). I haven’t actually clicked purchase on anything yet but I’m waiting because you know when you’re like “what if I want to replace everything in my closet? But with what trust fund?” If you want to write me into your trust fund, please reach out.
CHANI - Yes, the very cool and astute astrologer whose app I LOVE is doing a great sale on her products including calendars, guides, oracle cards, and more. I picked some things up from her that I cannot speak of due to it ruining gifts. Me even writing about this is ruining gifts probably.
Credo Beauty - Credo is one of my favorite spots for non-toxic/clean beauty and skincare goods! I always repurchase my favorite Josh Rosebrook Tinted Face Cream from there, and yesterday I restocked on the KOSAS deodorant I use (only natural deodorant I’ve used that does not irritate my armpits, stain my clothes, or let me stink). (To be fair, only one of my armpits has a smell…if I do smell. I should be studied by science.) Anyway, I love Credo—go check it out!
Those are the top ones I’ve peeked at or shopped at! But you get marketing emails so I don’t need to tell you who is having a Black Friday sale.
That’s all for this week. Me throwing slop at the page. I’m gonna try to be more prim and proper for you next ….weeeeeeek? Drop some comments and let me know what you want to chat about. I’m thinking of doing some podcast eps too with friends maybe because I feel like we need a curated yap.
Talk to you SOON!
SHE IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER (didn’t even know that was possible!!)