ISSUE 18: TEENYBOPPER SKINCARE
The kids want skincare, I downloaded a plastic surgery app, and my mom did research on Ryan Gosling's body oil.
THE CHILDREN ARE USING SERUM
My friend Casey recently informed me that kids are showing off their 12-step skincare routines on TikTok. I hadn’t seen this because I’m not actively on TikTok, but I had to investigate.
I’d heard some rumblings that kiddos were flooding Sephoras all over the country in search of products, including the brand Drunk Elephant, which I actually have a product from—these bronzing drops.
As I did some light research, I discovered countless videos of children wearing fluffy headbands and showing their millions (yes, millions!) of followers all of their favorite brands including Drunk Elephant, Summer Fridays, Tower28.
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Mixed in with the videos of would-be Disney child stars were videos of concerned parents and dermatologists who were discussing the dark spots of skincare for kids, like it being a huge expense and also how some kids are asking their parents for products with retinol (an active ingredient used for more mature skin to eliminate fine lines and wrinkles). For kids to be using retinol is a bit alarming (for perspective, I’m 30 years old and just bought my first retinol product yet am still nervous to use it, lol).
As I pondered this topic, I came across a special feature by Impact x Nightline on Hulu titled “Get Ready with Gen Alpha.” This, my friends, became what my boyfriend and I watched before bed the other night. (There is also an article accompanying it here.)
The docu-ep (is that a thing?) discusses this teenybopper trend, weighing the multiple sides of the issue. Faith Xue, the executive beauty director at Bustle Digital Group, argued that young girls getting into skincare with their friends is just like any other generation of the past getting into makeup and things the older girls were doing. I could see that. I mean, I was in middle school when I decided I needed to buy lilac Maybelline “mousse” eyeshadow.
However, what was more alarming was that dermatologist they interviewed (Dr. Claire Wolinsky) said some parents are coming into her office now asking about whether or not their kids can safely get things like lip fillers.
LIP FILLER!!!!!!!!!!!
THE SOCIAL MEDIA OF IT ALL
My core concern with the children practicing intense skincare regimens is not that itself. The true horror I feel around this whole trend is seeing these little angels morph and imitate 20-something influencers, from hometown heroes all the way up the influencer ladder to the Kardashian Industrial Complex.™ Kids now have access to whatever they can find online, and they are learning that they older girls and women they admire get injections into their faces to make them look pretty (this is quite the jump from Maybelline dream mousse eyeshadow of the early 2000s.)
It is safe to say that every generation scrutinizes and fears for the generation(s) that come after it. If you’re a Millennial, you’ve probably already said something like “I worry deeply for the wellness of Gen-Z.” Gen-Z essentially grew up in the digital age, an era where a lot of have gotten validation via the attention we get on social media.
Just last week, I saw that Hinge (the dating app) released its first report on dating trends amongst its Gen Z users. The study found that over half of Gen Z daters have not pursued a relationship out of fear of rejection, or as Gen Z would put it: “coming across as cringe.” It’s not surprising to me that a generation who grew up checking their views and “like” counts on social media would have some issues with putting their true selves out there.
Believe it or not, the oldest members of Gen Z are now about 27 years old, folks. And that means our attention (and elderly concern) must now turn to Gen Alpha.
Yes, the baby you saw swiping confidently on an iPad 5-7 years ago is now making GRWM (get ready with me) videos on TikTok and honestly? Probably making more money than you in brand partnerships.
That is what scares me about it all. It’s not the craze related to skincare (whatever child, moisturize your already perfect skin!) It’s the potential psychological damage you will experience later in life after putting yourself out for consumption on the internet before you can read.*
(*A mother in the docuseries who manages her daughters’ skincare account mentioned she is now concerned that her daughters can read hateful comments on the videos because NOW they can read.)
Being an “influencer” naturally has a sales component to it, and I can’t imagine what growing up with this mindset might do to young Alpha-influencers. Ashley Fell, a social researcher interviewed on the docuseries, helps businesses “understand the next generation of consumers.” (Take a moment with that.) Ashley helped coin the name “Gen Alpha” and says in the documentary:
“We anticipate that this generation, by the time they’ve all finished being born, will have about $5 trillion (US) in spending power or money spent on them.”
The episode goes onto mention that Sephora hit a record $10 billion in revenue last year.
I could not help but LAUGH so I didn’t CRY that we are talking about the SPENDING POWER of a generation that hasn’t even all been BORN YET!!! Which, by the way, is by the end of this year (2024).
So yeah, it’s all capitalism. It’s hell. I’m really just sad that kids are mimicking this messed up social media hell hole we are in to keep feeding the influence, buy, influence cycle.
In the words of my boyfriend:
“These girls are gonna grow up and Jeanette McCurdy their mom’s ass.”
MY 30-YEAR-OLD ASS DOWNLOADED A PLASTIC SURGERY APP (FOR FUN)
As a girl living in Los Angeles, home of the lip filler, I am not free of influence from social media, capitalism, and the fountain of beauty.
I’ve been next to girls in restaurants who I can’t help but stare at and wonder “do you actually look like that or did you have an outpatient surgery?”
I am far too afraid to have a needle or knife in my face. Also the whole idea of Botox or injections just don’t appeal to me personally.
However, that doesn’t mean I’m not curious what I’d look like without a little prick, nip, or tuck.
Yes, friends, I found an app that shows you what you look like with certain facial procedures… and I downloaded it.
The app, AEDIT, scans your face, probably sells your likeness to a dark entity, and then digitally manipulates your face to show you what you’d look like with certain alterations. It even goes as far to recommend practitioners in your area that can help you out with whatever procedure you’d like done.
MY EXPERIENCE IN AEDIT HELL
Ok, because you’re reading my newsletter, that means we’re internet pals, right? That means I can show you what this app came up with as my initial face “scan.” It’s alarming, in the sense that I look like a young boy getting ready to go fight in WWII.
Here it is:
They really do you dirty. At least, they did me so. Maybe to make you even more eager to change your entire face?
Before you go and download the app, here’s what else happened.
You basically have to have a paid account to unlock all of the features. The only unlocked modifications you could make to your face was a “brow transplant” and “lip lift.” I decided to let Lieutenant Leah go under the knife:
It’s giving “Eastern European owner of the local tailor shop that always fucks up your clothes and never gives refunds.” Perhaps this was me in a past life and I’m still dealing with the karma.
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED
Well, that didn’t go how I thought. And still as a 30 year old, I’m now looking for solutions that can slow the development of fine lines and wrinkles (which I’m mostly blaming on a dry Southern California climate right now). I use a super hydrating face cream day and night, I dabble in gua sha, and I’m considering getting into face taping.
But in the meantime, I will go to sleep peacefully tonight knowing that I grew up in an era of Britney Spears dance routines recorded on tapes that have been lost to the blackhole of time and space. And before I doze off, I will pray for the children whose first digital footprint was taken before they could read or even speak.
MY MOM FOUND RYAN GOSLING’S BODY OIL
My mom reads a lot of news, and this major finding of hers seemed relevant. Here’s the oil if you want to check it out. Honestly, I want it. I love lemongrass! Any Dr. Hauschka people out there??
COMEDY SHOW TONIGHT!
If you’re in LA, come see my sketch team perform at the Pack Theater at 9pm tonight. I wrote a couple of sketches in the show, including a filmed one I’m VERY proud of. Would love to see you there!! Tickets here.
That’s all for this week!
Please click the heart button and leave a comment to let me know you’re loving it! Otherwise I have no idea and as a Millennial we still need our likes and comments <3.
See you next week!!!
LJ
Great read. I’m perplexed and flummoxed by these children skin care videos, and tik toks where kids are in Sephora buying skin care goods. I mean, does it work on these kids (the products)? Clearly, the industrial “hate yourself” complex is clearly working. Glad you shed light on this matter! You need to do a podcast/radio show to accompany your subs. Great read.