ISSUE 13: FAMILY HEIRLOOMS IN A MINIMALIST WORLD
When heirlooms become clutter. Plus, I got an espresso machine.
THE JOY IS NOT SPARKING
This past week (and after I finish writing this newsletter) has been filled with helping my mom clean out my grandpa’s apartment in LA. He passed away several years ago, but this is the end of the road with cleaning it out.
If you’ve ever had to do this for any friend or relative, you know that cleaning out someone else’s belongings—treasured and mundane—can be one of the most exhausting things we have to take on in this life. No offense, but I think it’s as hard as getting a PhD…in trying to not have a complete mental breakdown.
I’ve helped my small immediate family do this for five people now, and I swear to God if anyone else dies, I’m gonna be PISSED!
I am the sole ~heir~ of my immediate family tree. I have no siblings and no first cousins, so whenever we’ve sorted through these family items since I was about 12 years old, questions have ranged from “Do you want to use this notebook for school?” to “You’ll want to save this for when you have kids, Leah!!!!!!!!”
Imagine me, a 6th grader, pondering whether my hypothetical child would want a musty nursery rhyme book found in my grandparents’ basement.
That same framework has held throughout the years. And now, as we clean out my grandpa’s—which is a culmination of his belongings, my great grandparents’ belongings, and my aunt’s belongings—the pressure to save family heirlooms (and office supplies) is higher than ever.
Maybe it’s a Scottish thing, but this side of the family has always been big time savers. As in, don’t get rid of that, it’s worth something! Or, don’t throw that out, you could turn those paper shreds into packing materials!
And I’m like, guys, I have a 600 SF apartment!!!!!!
Most of my home items from when I left DC four years ago are still packed up, and yet, I am being forced to take home an English teapot, or else I destroy family history. (There is no story connected to the teapot that we know of, but it’s pink and nice.)
LET ME BE A FUCKING, MINIMALIST!!!!
A few months ago, I found a video that was like “Ever wonder why Millennials are minimalists? It’s because their parents’ and grandparents’ houses looked like this. »” And then cue the most cluttered homes you’ve ever seen in your life. It made me laugh so hard, and so I sent it to my mom who also laughed.
The video has since been taken down (??) which kind of destroyed the initial idea for the lede of this issue, but c’est la internet.
However, it hit the relatability note.
So, as us Millennials create clear coffee table spaces with nothing more than a single stem flower and a coffee table book of Yoko Ono and John Lennon’s personal photos that “spark joy” a la Marie Kondo, how are we supposed to sort by joy-sparking when the belongings aren’t even ours, but maybe once meant something special for someone who came before us?
WHERE DO THE MEMORIES GO?
For the items you don’t keep, there is a weird sense of freedom mixed with guilt. As I drove around to antique stores with a bunch of collectibles that I didn’t want yet seemed too nice to donate, I couldn’t help but have this weird feeling like I was betraying whoever bought or owned the items I had in my trunk. (For what it’s worth, we did get a whole ass storage unit to keep some major items.)
Walking into antique stores, I was swept into a feeling of slight regret as I saw hundreds of other peoples’ family heirlooms displayed in cases that probably only open for an interested buyer once or twice a week. I had that feeling of, “oh wait, never mind. I’ll keep this stuff.”
And then, “no I literally don’t have room for this stuff nor do I know where it’s from, or what it means.” So maybe it would mean a lot to someone else.
For the less sentimental or valuable belongings, I put pounds and pounds of storage unit, closet, and drawer contents into the cage-like bins at Goodwill.
This process really makes you never want to buy anything again. Or keep more than you need.
Every vintage or antique store I went into this week was packed, and my stomach turned thinking about how all of these stores are overflowing with clothes and home goods while the world continues to produce even more stuff each day. That’s a whole other story, but you can’t help but notice it.
We’re almost done cleaning out the apartment, and while the sense of relief is imminent, and I can’t help but wish all our relatives were around to tell us the significance of these items. Also so they could point out which shit was meaningless and throw it away themselves. <3
Have you had to do this for relatives? Did you find anything cool? Did it change the way you think about your own belongings/stuff?
I AM A HOME (ESPRESSO) OWNER
Speaking of IMPORTANT BELONGINGS, I got an espresso machine for my birthday/Christmas.
Here I was, thinking it was going to be a fun little toy, and alas, I still have not yet perfected the ratio of grind size to amount to tamp pressure. No one told me it was going to be this hard! I just wanted a fun little treat!!!!!!
It’s a “Breville Barista Pro.” Fancy! I’m accepting any and all tips from home and professional baristas alike. I’ve been using Canyon Coffee’s Beachwood roast which I believe is one of THE best in the world, a dark carmelly roast.
Please help me!
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
I have to run (because you know, cleaning out family heirlooms), but I will see you all next week. Let me know in the comments what you’re loving and what you want to see more of this year on the newsletter!
Also, you can follow me on Instagram @ljsayshey.
Bye! XO
LJ