ISSUE 11: HOLIDAY TRAVEL SNACK SPLENDOR
What I pack for the plane, a big ad campaign to look out for, and birthday news!
SNACK AIRLINES
This week, I flew back to the homeland for The Holidays™.
Ohio seems like such a cliché place to “fly home to for the holidays,” but alas, I am cliché. Now that I’ve written it multiple times, I can’t help but think that Cliché also totally sounds like a word someone wearing Erewhon x Balenciaga couture would name their baby. Cliché Swarovski, my gentle daughter.
Whenever I travel, I make a special trip to the grocery store to buy enough stacks to sustain me as if the plane were to go down on a deserted island. Imagine me shivering in shock amongst the charred palm trees, eating a stick of smoked meat. Always be prepared.
Truly though, I don’t know what it is, but I always have to get plane snacks.
Ok, I know what it is. I don’t want to be left to buy overpriced airport food that makes me feel like a pile of sludge. Sure, I could spring for the tuna salad sandwich in the CIBO case, but I’m gonna need a full backstory on that sandwich’s journey before I eat it.
Here’s what I brought for this recent trip:
1. MIDDAY SQUARES!
I love Midday Squares. Branded as a “functional chocolate that satisfies your sweet cravings” they are basically little squares that taste like a combo of a protein bar and chocolate bar, often with layers like for cookie dough flavor. I really love them, and will also carry these on normal days when I’m just out and about. They are relatively low sugar, high protein, and high fiber for their size. They also have pretty straightforward ingredients. If I’m eating them to fulfill a chocolate craving after a meal, they leave me quiiiiite satisfied. They come in brownie batter, cookie dough, peanut ‘butta’, and almond crunch. I don’t really have a favorite, but I will say the peanut butter one legit tastes like a Reese’s peanut butter cup if that’s appealing to you. I highhhhly recommend Midday Squares for travel and honestly just in general for a post-lunch treat, midday snack, or even dessert after dinner!
2. MEAT STICKZ
My interest in eating smoked meat has fluctuated throughout my life. I feel like my first understanding of beef jerky as a child was Slim Jims, which an influencer / fitness instructor once told me he eats a lot of and as a result is the highest-ranking member of the 7/11 loyalty program in the U.S. I haven’t fact-checked that, but I’m pretty sure he was serious because why would you make that up.
Anyway, I’m not out here eating Slim Jims, but I have been purchasing this brand called CHOMPS which my mother recently informed me is sold at Costco (I also get them at Whole Foods.) Chomps are made with 100% grass-fed beef which is awesome, and there are also no weird additives and no sugar! Those also have about 10g of protein per stick, which is great for staying satiated while traveling.
Sometimes I can’t wrap my head around the concept of smoked meat, and I will probably need to call a food scientist to explain it to me, because how in God’s name does smoke make meat shelf stable? This is information I’ve not gotten from anyone, and the fact that they didn’t mandate a Smoked Meat class in my public school system will keep me awake at night. We are not prepared for the real world.
3. VEGETABLES, BUT REALLY SWEET POTATOES
I will always be that person with a container of vegetables on the plane. One of my favorite travel veggies are roasted sweet potatoes because they hold up well, taste good room temperature, and are quite hearty. You can also take them a savory route (bring some guac) or a sweet/breakfasty route (add almond butter and cinnamon - yum).
For this particular flight, I brought Erewhon Mighty Greens from the hot bar and some kind of kabocha squash situation that my boyfriend ended up eating while we were waiting to de-plane after landing (we were three rows away from the back bathrooms so yeah… there was enough time to enjoy some casual kabocha squash after touching down). Other veggies I like to travel with include bell peppers, celery, and carrots. I once flew to Charleston with a bag of full-sized carrots that my friend Kate and I later ate in a coffee shop while waiting to check into an Airbnb. Hot.
4. PIQUE TEA ELECTROLYTES
I have recently been picking up some packets of these Pique "BT Fountain" electrolytes that are hydrating but also supposed to make me look like a gorgeous cartoon fox wearing fake eyelashes during mating season. In other words, they have hyaluronic acid and ceramides in them, which are good for a “youthful appearance.”
Since I like to look like an unaccompanied minor when I fly, I drank a pack of these in water after we woke up at 4:20am on our travel day. Airplanes are famously dehydrating, and I wanted to make sure I was as quenched as Spongebob before boarding. I also read once that drinking electrolytes after not getting enough sleep can help your body out, which is great because I got 2 hours of sleep the night before. I’m fine!
I don’t buy these all the time because they are $3 a pack and really add up if you get a lot (you could get a box for a slight discount but, you know.)
5. CRACKERS
Who doesn't want a crunchy snack while soaring through the cold open air? I love having gluten-free crackers to munch on and brought some brown rice crackers on this particular flight. These ones. They are hearty and thick. I used to bring rice cakes on flights but frankly they get EVERYWHERE when you’re eating them, like, it looks like the outside of a gerbil’s cage when I eat them, and they also take up way too much real estate in my carry-on. Rice cakes are actually really high maintenance and no one is brave enough to say that, but I am.
Those are the main things that I brought on this flight. I try to bring foods that I know will make me feel good while traveling and also prevent any travel delays—and by that I mean constipation. We have all seen or been the person eating a burger and fries at 7am at the airport. I mean, it happens. But having good snacks on the plane helps me feel like I can take on the world and by that I mean get to my destination without being hangry and futurely (not a word) constipated.
What do you bring to eat on flights? Anything? Do you have a favorite airport snack? Are you gonna try anything I recommended above? (Let me know how you like it.)
LOOK OUT FOR THE DIAMONDS!
Big news everyone! I worked on the holiday campaign for De Beers Jewelers, aka the people who told us “A Diamond is Forever.” You can see my headlines across online, print, billboards, and importantly, in AIRPORTS this holiday season!
A few have already been spotted in the wild at LAX and Houston, but if you see more, please be on the lookout! I believe I should have a headline at the DC and Philly airports, plus some other headlines that you might see in digital ads, print, and on billboards.
Very exciting! Please keep a look out and take pics to send me if you see any!!
Some samples out in the wild so far…
And, if you’re looking for a copywriter in the new year, please reach out! :) I’m ~avail.~
THE HOLIDAYS ARE NIGH
Between this newsletter and next week, Christmas will happen!!!! Fun fact, but my birthday is also on Christmas. YES, on Christmas Day. December 25. And I’m turning 30 this year. I’m kind of having an existential crisis about it that I’ll probably cover at some other point, but in the meantime, I will accept any and all birthday wishes you choose to send in between you family gatherings or whatever it is you do on December 25.
I am undecided if I will write a newsletter issue next week, so if you don’t get an issue from me in your inbox, now you know why!!! But maybe I’ll do a little post about whatever I get for presents? Or does that make me seem like a little French prince? Very well then.
By the way, if you’re wondering what it’s like to have a birthday on Christmas, I wrote a humor piece about 4 years ago that is semi autobiographical but is called: What’s It Like to Have a Christmas Birthday? A Q+A with Jesus Christ.
That’s all for this week! I hope you all have a Merry Christmas next week if you celebrate and a joyous holiday season.
Don’t forget to let me know what you think of this week’s issue! I can’t wait to hear your favorite plane snacks.
LJ